Why is it that I buy a new shirt and within no more than a couple of outings it has gained a stain? Perhaps a mucky child’s hand or just my middle-aged dribbling? I find myself infuriated beyond what is reasonable about the freshly ruined garment. And in spite of the lumps of vanish soap and an 80 degree environment destroying wash, it will not budge.

Stuff happens. I have to learn to let go. I cannot allow the all-powerful stain to master me.

How do you feel about things going wrong? Does it freak you out? Do you fear losing face, embarrassment or no longer being seen as competent?

A few years ago a situation arose at work that ended unsatisfactorily and ultimately unresolved. It remains so, to some extent. I don’t like that. I feel regret, hurt, an unhealed wound even. During the last year this same issue has reared its head, surprised me and struck fear into me.

It has all felt beyond my control and that I am at the mercy of others reactions and actions. An uncomfortable place. A stain that will not budge.

However I have had a few realisations.

1. I cannot control how others react and act
2. Some things will not be satisfactorily resolved (as I see it) no matter how we try; some stains do not completely vanish.
3. Letting go intentionally can bring peace.

Letting go does not mean resigning oneself or giving up. It means choosing, intentionally, not to hold on; to the pain, the hurt, the regrets, the sense of injustice, the desire to get your point or perspective across. it means letting go. It won’t mean you forget but practicing letting go will enable you move forward. It will mean a little more lentement in your life. I can live with stain, it’s not that bad after all.

Is there a situation you face that is filling you with fear?

Is there a grudge creating a knot your stomach?

Is there something you need to let go of?

The stain on my new t-shirt is small, when compared to the rest of the stripy material that makes up the garment, and whilst the supposed magic powers of Vanish and biological powder working at 80 degrees seemed to be limited, it is fading. It’s impact lessened. In fact only I really notice it now.

The strange thing is that in the act of simply letting go, if the opportunity to resolve the seemingly unresolvable arises you will be in a better place to do so.

Let go: a little more lentement